Do not mistake …
my tears for weakness,
I may cry when I’m overwhelmed, but I am strong
My smile for happiness or my straight face for lack thereof
I may smile when I’m uncomfortable, or when filled with love
My needing you for selfishness
I may allow myself to need you, but I know my worth
My willingness to put you first for selflessness
I pick you because you bring me joy, but I can change my mind if necessary
My high tolerance for being a doormat
My tolerance level is equal to the amount of love and caring I feel from you
My loving you above all else for being a pushover
I love you as much as you love me, and if there is imbalance, I can reevaluate
My choosing you above all for lack of choices
I CHOOSE you because you make me feel important too
My silence for anger or unhappiness
I quietly reflect all I feel, the good and the bad
My eagerness to give all of me for foolishness
I see more than you know, and feel more than I show
Give all, but be all, to deserve love is to have earned love
Welcome it, cherish it, but most of all, nurture it
And never ever be neglectful of
This is my attempt at poetry. I've had no actual training aside from what you get in high school. It may not be perfect, but it is mine.
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
I Am
I am fire and ice
Though I try to be nice
I’m passionate and caring
And sometimes I’m daring
I’m brave but I am meek
Some could say I’m a freak
I’m crazy but mostly normal
I believe in things paranormal
I am spiritual but I have my doubt
I’ve searched my soul inside and out
I am dedicated, and full of love
I believe in my angels up above
I am stubborn, but I am giving
Working on being forgiving
I’m obsessive and compulsive
Would love to be impulsive
I’m Introspective not extroverted
My sense of humor’s a bit perverted
I’m insecure but I am strong
Still not sure where I belong
I’m all of the above
All that and then some
So here I am for all to see
A bit of everything, that is me
8/31/10
Though I try to be nice
I’m passionate and caring
And sometimes I’m daring
I’m brave but I am meek
Some could say I’m a freak
I’m crazy but mostly normal
I believe in things paranormal
I am spiritual but I have my doubt
I’ve searched my soul inside and out
I am dedicated, and full of love
I believe in my angels up above
I am stubborn, but I am giving
Working on being forgiving
I’m obsessive and compulsive
Would love to be impulsive
I’m Introspective not extroverted
My sense of humor’s a bit perverted
I’m insecure but I am strong
Still not sure where I belong
I’m all of the above
All that and then some
So here I am for all to see
A bit of everything, that is me
8/31/10
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Trapped In A Box
Trapped In a Box
II'm trapped in a glass box
I can see everything, and everyone can see me
The glass is deceiving though
An invisible force
To everyone else, I look just fine
But on the inside, I am completely not
The outside, to me, appears perfectly nice
So much to see, so much to love
So much that is better out there than is in here
Or is it that deceiving glass again?
I'm like a loaded gun,
I can be a weapon
With a single motion I can be free
But, is free all it's cracked up to be?
My fear, he always tells me it isn't
What if....
What if I am free, only to find,
The glass has distorted the outside?
What if I get out there and realize it's worse?
That damned fear, he controls my mind!
Fear is an interesting thing
Fear nothing, and you're not alive
Fear everything, and you're not living
Fear can be learned, but, fear can be imposed
No matter which way, fear can be paralyzing
Freedom comes with a price
Once you've shattered the box, you can't go back inside
What do I have to do
To stop him from taking over me?
A leap of faith
I long to take it
It's all I think about
It's too easy to get used to the pain
My foot keeps getting closer to the edge
My weapon aimed at that damned deceptive glass
But, the invisible force, he holds me back
My heart whispers:
Pull the trigger
Take the leap
Breathe the air
Look fear in the eye and tell him I just don't care
II'm trapped in a glass box
I can see everything, and everyone can see me
The glass is deceiving though
An invisible force
To everyone else, I look just fine
But on the inside, I am completely not
The outside, to me, appears perfectly nice
So much to see, so much to love
So much that is better out there than is in here
Or is it that deceiving glass again?
I'm like a loaded gun,
I can be a weapon
With a single motion I can be free
But, is free all it's cracked up to be?
My fear, he always tells me it isn't
What if....
What if I am free, only to find,
The glass has distorted the outside?
What if I get out there and realize it's worse?
That damned fear, he controls my mind!
Fear is an interesting thing
Fear nothing, and you're not alive
Fear everything, and you're not living
Fear can be learned, but, fear can be imposed
No matter which way, fear can be paralyzing
Freedom comes with a price
Once you've shattered the box, you can't go back inside
What do I have to do
To stop him from taking over me?
A leap of faith
I long to take it
It's all I think about
It's too easy to get used to the pain
My foot keeps getting closer to the edge
My weapon aimed at that damned deceptive glass
But, the invisible force, he holds me back
My heart whispers:
Pull the trigger
Take the leap
Breathe the air
Look fear in the eye and tell him I just don't care
Shades of Grey
Shades of melancholy grey
filled my world as you went away.
Rooms filled with deafening silence.
My mind races with wishes and fear
Empty arms outstretched, aching to hold you near
Green eyes heavy with sadness
Tormented and craving
Without you
waves of lonliness crashing all around
The weight of my world suffocates me
My soul is dark now, you were my gravity.
With you, my heart is full
my soul shines, my heart soars.
Memory is a fact of the soul.
Lifting my heavy cloak to reveal my wounds
I say to you "Love answers need."
I long to shed this cloak,
step outside my skin,
kneel naked before you in all vulnerability,
and wait for you to take me in.
I gave to you all of me.
I fulfill it because I contain it.
It prevails because it is within me.
And I say to you with the purest of love on my tongue
you, and only you
were
the
one
filled my world as you went away.
Rooms filled with deafening silence.
My mind races with wishes and fear
Empty arms outstretched, aching to hold you near
Green eyes heavy with sadness
Tormented and craving
Without you
waves of lonliness crashing all around
The weight of my world suffocates me
My soul is dark now, you were my gravity.
With you, my heart is full
my soul shines, my heart soars.
Memory is a fact of the soul.
Lifting my heavy cloak to reveal my wounds
I say to you "Love answers need."
I long to shed this cloak,
step outside my skin,
kneel naked before you in all vulnerability,
and wait for you to take me in.
I gave to you all of me.
I fulfill it because I contain it.
It prevails because it is within me.
And I say to you with the purest of love on my tongue
you, and only you
were
the
one
Window To My Soul
12/3/09
Still waters run deep, So do people
I’ve always been good at holding it all together
But the older I get the more I have to hold
Suck it up, keep it in, it could be worse
But it could be so much better
Just what does a ‘breakdown’ consist of? This I do not know.
What I do know is I feel suffocated, can’t breathe
Paralyzed, unable to extricate myself from this situation
Terrified of the next move, but I know it has to come
Give up, walk away, put it all behind you, just LEAVE
Sob myself to sleep, wake up with eyes swollen closed
Eye cream, makeup, cold packs, take away the evidence
My brave face is what the outside world always sees
Hide it all, show no one, keep it all inside
I am a master at camouflage and outward appearance
But after I’ve cried, the eyes don’t lie
Tears wash away the filter, and the whole world can see
Inside, behind, into my mind and beyond to my soul
Emotional nudity, exposed to everyone
The window to my soul lies open, and what you see is me
Still waters run deep, So do people
I’ve always been good at holding it all together
But the older I get the more I have to hold
Suck it up, keep it in, it could be worse
But it could be so much better
Just what does a ‘breakdown’ consist of? This I do not know.
What I do know is I feel suffocated, can’t breathe
Paralyzed, unable to extricate myself from this situation
Terrified of the next move, but I know it has to come
Give up, walk away, put it all behind you, just LEAVE
Sob myself to sleep, wake up with eyes swollen closed
Eye cream, makeup, cold packs, take away the evidence
My brave face is what the outside world always sees
Hide it all, show no one, keep it all inside
I am a master at camouflage and outward appearance
But after I’ve cried, the eyes don’t lie
Tears wash away the filter, and the whole world can see
Inside, behind, into my mind and beyond to my soul
Emotional nudity, exposed to everyone
The window to my soul lies open, and what you see is me
Frozen Winter, Cold Heart
12/6/09
I am not the me I used to be
Too much disappointment and unhappiness is all I see
So I try to fill my days with things that bring me joy
Like motorcycle rides and buying huskies new toys
But deep down, inside, I know they’re just ‘things’
Material goods cannot give my heart wings
Lonely, dark, cold winter is settling in
And my heart is hardening from within
Next year will get better, I say to myself
But winter is like the loneliest cell in hell
Like a Desert Rose frozen in the snow
I am lying in wait for spring below
I am not the me I used to be
Too much disappointment and unhappiness is all I see
So I try to fill my days with things that bring me joy
Like motorcycle rides and buying huskies new toys
But deep down, inside, I know they’re just ‘things’
Material goods cannot give my heart wings
Lonely, dark, cold winter is settling in
And my heart is hardening from within
Next year will get better, I say to myself
But winter is like the loneliest cell in hell
Like a Desert Rose frozen in the snow
I am lying in wait for spring below
Betrayal
Betrayal has many forms
Each of them inflicting pain
Betrayal of a lover in the arms of another
Breaks the heart
Betrayal of a friend that was not
Breaks your trust
Betrayal of the one you love most thinking the worst
Breaks your soul
Betrayal of the universe bringing you pain
Breaks your spirit
This too, shall pass, they say
Rise above this
You have to feel the worst to appreciate the best
If it was mean to be it will be
True, perhaps
Agonizing, nonetheless
Broken hearts do mend
But they're never the same
Once broken, faith comes and goes like the rain
Each of them inflicting pain
Betrayal of a lover in the arms of another
Breaks the heart
Betrayal of a friend that was not
Breaks your trust
Betrayal of the one you love most thinking the worst
Breaks your soul
Betrayal of the universe bringing you pain
Breaks your spirit
This too, shall pass, they say
Rise above this
You have to feel the worst to appreciate the best
If it was mean to be it will be
True, perhaps
Agonizing, nonetheless
Broken hearts do mend
But they're never the same
Once broken, faith comes and goes like the rain
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)